Film | The Hanslick Girls

August 28, 2017

In These Trenches: Brian Jordan Alvarez’s “The Gay And Wondrous Life Of Caleb Gallo”

Meet the Hanslick Girls: Gwen, Eleanor and Dania. Created by writer Zach Barr, they are a trio of friends who are always out experiencing the best of entertainment. Be it plays, films, concerts, exhibits, or games, they’ve learned that the arts are best when experienced together. They may not have the same opinions, but their conversations tend to make for an entertaining read. Recently, the girls discussed Brian Jordan Alvarez’s gay dreamscape of a webseries from last year. Let’s listen in on their conversation…

The credits flashed by under the sensual tones of Donna Lewis’ “I Love You Always Forever,” as Dania lifted her head off the armrest of the couch.

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, basically,” Eleanor said. “He’s trying to get a longer series going on Netflix or something but for now it’s just five episodes.”

Dania rubbed her eyes. It was too late at night – “only five episodes” had seemed like a short enough length to watch, forgetting that at about 15-20 minutes each, the entire series was basically an 84-minute movie.

July 17, 2017

By A Thread: Marvel’s “Spider-Man: Homecoming”

Meet the Hanslick Girls: Gwen, Eleanor and Dania. Created by writer Zach Barr, they are a trio of friends who are always out experiencing the best of entertainment. Be it plays, films, concerts, exhibits, or restaurants, they’ve learned that the arts are best when experienced together. They may not have the same opinions, but their conversations tend to make for an entertaining read. Recently, the Girls saw “Spider-Man: Homecoming,” Sony and Marvel’s sixth film featuring the web-slinging hero. Let’s hear what they had to say on their way back from the theater…

“Eh, not totally worth it to stay.”

“More like absolutely worth it to stay, Gwen,” Dania countered. “I am always down for more of that man on screen.”

“I’m just glad you were right about their being another post-credits scene, Dania,” Eleanor conceded, as the lights rose in the theater. Around them, the patient few who had stayed for the entire credits of the film were standing, shuffling their bags around, cleaning up popcorn, and murmuring their silent deliberations about the film’s quality.

July 9, 2017

Life After Death: Daniels’ “Swiss Army Man”

—Originally written July 6, 2016—

Meet the Hanslick Girls: Gwen, Eleanor and Dania. Created by writer Zach Barr, they are a trio of Northwestern students who always go to see plays together. They may not have the same opinions, but their conversations tend to make for an entertaining read. Recently, the Girls saw “Swiss Army Man,” Daniels’ absurdist discussion of humanity, solitude, and farting. Let’s hear what they had to say on their way back from the theater…

When the final shot of “Swiss Army Man” came to a close, the screen abruptly switched to a black screen with the words “THE END,” written in white in a simple font, placed directly in the center of the screen. At the juxtaposition of such an innocuous ending onto an otherwise ridiculous film, some audience members started laughing. Sitting almost motionless in the center of the theatre, Gwen, Eleanor, and Dania wordlessly thought the exact same thing.

“Of course that’s how this movie ends.”

July 9, 2017

Rekindled Under Water: Disney/PIXAR’s “Finding Dory”

—Originally written June 19, 2016—

Meet the Hanslick Girls: Gwen, Eleanor and Dania. Created by writer Zach Barr, they are a trio of Northwestern students who always go to see art together. They may not have the same opinions, but their conversations tend to make for an entertaining read. Recently, the Girls saw “Finding Dory,” PIXAR’s recently released sequel to 2003’s “Finding Nemo.” Let’s hear what they had to say on their way back from the theater…

The dull thumping of feet coming from the hallway informed Eleanor’s mother that her daughter was on her way to the living room. Tearing in between the boxes, still waiting to be unpacked, Eleanor’s head poked into view as she held aloft a plastic turtle and soared him through the air in the apartment.

“Gnarly, dude!” Eleanor said, loudly. She wove around the nearly empty apartment, the plastic toy leading the way as her mother watched from behind the kitchen counter. “You so totally rock, Squirt!”

Her mother laughed.

Category / Film